He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize