Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
