Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
