break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
