oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
