no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
