don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
