What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
