Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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