forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
