I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize