and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
