Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
