We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
