I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
