Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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