dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
