your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
