I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
