I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
