Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
