Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
