dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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