better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
