yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
