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So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
