FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm getting married
To pizza
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
