So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
