I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
