Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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