My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
