Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
