just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
