i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
