I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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