Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Houston, we have a blender
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
