So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
