you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
