I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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