she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
