So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
