I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
