I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize