dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
