Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
