no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
bring money and cleavage
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
