mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
