I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
