he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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