Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
