you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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