i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
