You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
