Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
