I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
