No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
