Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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