One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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