dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
