We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
