that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
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