When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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