that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
