im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
