i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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