we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize