i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize