It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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