Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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