I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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