No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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