dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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