apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
