question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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