i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize