I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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